Absorption stuff is basically comprised of claiming our new immigrant benefits, finding a flat, getting some sort of employment, learning to drive, going to Ulpan and choosing What To Do Next. (All small tasks, then).
Though we'd planned to move to Jerusalem, it took about 5 minutes on israemploy (handy job-seeker site) to realise that almost all the work here is in high-tech and in tel aviv. There are a small number of English teaching positions available also, but mostly they require a teaching qualification. So I busily set about applying to all the jobs I could find that didn't require any specific qualifications besides good spoken English (strangely, nobody required a BA in Jewish Studies... I wonder why not?) and within days got several meetings - 2 jobs in kindergartens and 2 in (cringe) telesales. And 3/4 of them in the Tel Aviv region.
I was extremely excited about the kindergarten jobs, progressing in my fantasies so far as to imagine my mornings in school and afternoons learning Hebrew, masterfully resolving the last few wedding planning issues in my lunch breaks until next academic year, when I can again seek refuge from Real Life in university. (No, no. University *is* real life.)
However, the first job was located in a Tel Aviv suburb, a few suburbs away from the one in which I currently reside. The quickest way was to take 2 buses (making a massive detour via yet another suburb) and then pray for a taxi or a helpful passer by with a great knowledge of their hometown to direct me.
In the end, I gave up after the first bus. The second bus stood me up and I was left to wait in a strange bus-only road in the Israeli sun, which is a little more intimidating that the diet version we get in the UK. So, in order to hail a cab, I grudgingly gave up in my second bus (knowing that it would come the second I was far away from my bus stop to miss it when it came) and negotiated the monstrous Israeli traffic to get to the normal side of the road.
At which point I promptly missed about 18 taxis, and had to wait another 5-10 minutes for a taxi to come along. As luck would have it, he was the only cabbie in Israel to have no knowledge of the roads whatsoever (and none of them here have GPS) and hilariously kept stopping other drivers to ask them the way, honking every 30 seconds to communicate that he'd like to speak to them, or "thanks", or "I'd like to go faster" or "I feel like honking because I'm Israeli and it's warm".
Anyway, he eventually got me there (he even took pity on me and stopped the counter when it hit 30 shekels) in plenty of time for me to have an ice-coffee. An ice-coffee differs from a cold coffee in that it has blended ice, like a really sweet frappuccino, whereas the other is just a latter with ice cubes in.
After the "interview", which consisted of me holding a miserable baby, telling the kindergarten lady that looking after babies was my life ambition, failing to come up with any interesting questions (I got it - I have to change them, feed them, read to them, play with them) and trying to eat the crumbly, crumbly cake I was offered, I started my homeward expedition. No taxis, no buses. But on the plus side, quite a tempting shopping centre.
I waited for a friendly-looking adult to appear so I could ask for help - I had to wait for a minibus to take me to central TA, which would arrive in 40 minutes (!!!) and from there another bus home. Total journey time well over an hour, not counting the wait. The salary would barely have covered the buses, let alone my emergency taxis, so I called her to turn it down. It was a bit of a shame as her nursery was a very light, very calm place (maybe because most of the babies were napping) and she seemed very nice.
Never mind, I had the next interview to look forward to for a swanky international pre-school in Herzliyya that would surely pay very well and cater to the civilised, foreign children of diplomats and the like.
But I'll save that story for next time.
